Is My Kid Behind? Real Talk About Milestones

- Milestones are the most stressful thing in the world.

You know, "Oh, that baby's walking, that baby's not, what's my baby doing, is my baby going to go to Harvard, oh my God."

Like, it's so, it's so stressful.

Why do you do that to us is what I'm asking?

Why can't a baby just be a baby?

(cheerful music) - Overall, developmental milestones are essentially just a framework of moments that experts use to track how a child is developing, and if they're developing skills.

You know, we look at milestones that may look at gross or fine motor movements, social cognition development, language, emotions, and every child develops at his or her own pace.

Do not stress about it because it's just kind of like a little checklist for us.

- I really love that because my daughter, our daughter has Down syndrome.

And so she walked when she was about two months, two years and three months, which was very typical for a child with Down Syndrome.

But sometimes looking at those charts and hearing, hearing the language, "This is what your baby is supposed to be doing" definitely makes us feel left out.

It makes a lot of families with children with special needs feel left out.

Like it's a tool, that you use to see how a baby is developing skills.

- I don't think parents should look at these charts and compare them to every other kid.

It's more looking at where your kid is at, a child with autism spectrum, cerebral palsy, certain hearing issues, they may develop differently than other children.

- I think for lots and lots of parents, it's something joyful to look forward to.

But I learned those charts are more for doctors to give you a timeframe when to look into something.

- Could be cool, could be no big deal, or there may be something more we need to do.

And sometimes the wording comes across as normal versus abnormal, or you know, concerning, or this is a problem, but it's more just - Y'all need some work on that, that's all.

- You should lead a training.

- I will.

- I'm actually being serious.

- I will.

- So how does, how does this work exactly?

- So in general, if you're looking at the developmental milestones, there's like a progression of what kids will do from birth until, you know, they're old and moving out.

And by moving out, I mean like, 12 months old.

But so for example, your child will start by spontaneous smiles, which then turn into laughing kind of understanding their world.

- When do they understand their world?

Have I not made that milestone yet?

Oh my gosh, was I supposed to get there?

- But there's even things with their grasp where your child starts up by batting something which then turns into raking their hand over it, which then turns into a fine grasp.

- Pincer.

- Pincer.

And then there's the whole one about walking where your child eventually is rolling and then crawling and then cruising, or putting their hands on a sofa or chairs and walking.

- They walk like a mime.

It's like hand over hand.

You know what though, like we were talking about all children develop differently.

Nico, my son, he rolled over and then he got on his tummy and he went, "Nah," and then pulled up to a stand, cruised and ran.

And then he learned how to crawl about two months ago.

He's three years old.

- So I think, you know, in general, we say your kids can start with tummy time, meaning they're on their stomach on the ground for kids to kind of build up some of their upper torso, their neck muscles, their hands, which will then help them later with things like crawling - Downward dog.

- And rolling and yoga, apparently.

- Don't forget- tummy time is also when you're laying back on the couch and you have your baby on their tummy on, on your body.

So it doesn't have to be down on the mat, listening to them shriek bloody murder like a pterodactyl.

It could be like very loving and intimate.

- The physical development seems to be pretty straightforward, right?

You build muscles, you can do a new task.

Do you feel like the brain development is as transparent?

Does it make sense?

- I don't think any of it makes sense.

That's why I'm a comedian.

- The brain is super cool.

In the very, very very early stages of life, the brain is growing rapidly.

There are millions and millions and millions of neurons or nerve cells building these new connections every single day and developing some pathways that'll stick there for life.

And a lot of this has to do with your baby's external environment, so your baby's getting the right signals to make those connections.

Are you interacting with your kid, does your kid have enough to look, at laugh at, all the other things that we encourage parents to do.

And usually what happens in kids is one of the first things to develop is the vision center and hearing center, then comes the language center- so things like babbling or cooing.

Which are actually really complex because when babies babble or coo, they're interacting with caregivers, which relies on cognitive, social, and emotional cues.

Now, language learning starts early in year one and requires incredible cognitive activity.

Even before they utter their first word, babies are listening and analyzing the language they hear.

And then after that comes problem solving and trying to really figure out how to live in this complex world.

This is why children who are victims of abuse, or face malnutrition or neglect can have developmental delays or issues with brain development that'll cause repercussions for years afterwards.

Which is why it's so important to shield kids from all these things.

In addition, we should support child brain development as much as we can in the early phases, and we're identifying any red flags on those milestone charts.

- I see these centers populated by little neurons, like just sitting with little headsets, going, "Dee dee dee dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, alright, language center on."

And then all the little neurons are like, "Aah!"

Is that what neurons do?

- That's probably a pretty, I mean, they kind of do look like that when they, that's a pretty good analogy.

- And then the neuron goes down to the baby's mouth and then the baby goes, "Dada."

Cause Dada's always first.

- That's just cause it's easy to say.

That's why fathers chose Dada.

That's what I believe, this is my theory.

Fathers heard the first word and went, like a baby went, "Dada" or "Papa" or "Baba."

And then the guy went, "That's me."

Could have just as easily been the mom is what I'm saying.

They called dibs first.

And the mom was like, "Aah."

And dad came in and went, "Nope, I'm Baba.

It's me."