- To be blunt, I'm pretty much an (bleep).

And I'm sorry to curse, but that's, when I meet people at first, a lot of people don't like me.

But I tend to grow on people.

I keep it 100.

I speak my mind.

I tell the truth about things.

I'm an honest person.

So some people don't like the honesty that comes outta my mouth sometimes.

I'm a recovering heroin addict.

42 years old.

I've been to prison.

I've been getting high all my life.

Being on the streets for seven years, you know, it's, it's rough, but you gotta learn how to adapt.

When you first start panhandling, it's hard, man.

You gotta swallow your pride.

It's so embarrassing when you first start doing it.

A grown man begging for money like, ugh.

It's just, ugh.

I'm not planning on going back to that.

You know, here I am today clean and it feels good every day.

But you know, it's a struggle.

My motto is just, you know, to stay busy and stay focused, structure.

And you know, that's my whole, my whole philosophy, how to stay clean now.

I get up in the morning, do what I gotta do, get dressed and just find something to do every day.

Every day is not great.

You know, it is a struggle, but you get through it, man.

And it's, it's better to live clean and, and, and struggle sometimes than live the other way.

Because the other way, you're either going to die, be in prison, living on streets, all your life being messed up.

And it's just crazy, man.

I don't wish that on anybody.

I don't know how I did it for that long.

Yeah, I lost a lot of people.

A lot of important people.

My brother's dead.

My sister's dead.

Best friends are dead.

I lost my best friend, Dave.

I was with my girlfriend for 11 years.

And she did- everything possible for me.

But when I went to jail, she would, you know, put money on my books, come see me.

Me being me, after some years, you know, got old and I broke up with her and I shouldn't have did it.

What happened to her?

That- that she overdosed.

And it tore me up, man.

'Cause she was only 31 at the time.

And she didn't deserve that, man.

She deserved so much better.

And I love her to death, man.

I think about her all the time.

But you know, I got, you know, people too that understand that stand by me to this day.

I'm blessed, man, truly blessed.

Man, I just wanna succeed in life and be somebody now.

In another month, I'll have a year clean and I want to go to school to be a, a peer specialist which is, you know, helping addicts, helping homeless people, helping the mentally disabled, helping whoever.

That's a big thing with me.

I want to give back.

'Cause I believe in karma.

I believe everything resolves around helping people.

That's the dream.

And now, now when I go see my mom, I see like how proud she is of me.

And- it makes me feel really, really good man.

Like, I've never seen my mom so proud of me and know that I'm in a good place and I'm doing good and she don't gotta worry about me going to jail or dying or hurting myself or something like that.

That makes me feel so good.

(somber piano)